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"I'm not really the savior of the sport, just a very devoted fan", confesses "Charlie", waiving off autograph-seekers in order to grant an interview. "Pug-racing" has successfully taken off in most of America's major cities, with Pittsburgh and Cleveland having just signed lucrative franchise deals. "Racing runs through my blood. Compared to horses, miniature British dogs are the next best thing to see at the track." [More!]
"It's uncomfortable telling people that you're a beauty queen" admits "Kim", Miss Mona Lisa 1998. The Mona Lisa contest, one of several that have emerged to claim the dwindling audiences of the bland "Beauty" contests such as Miss Universe, etc, judges women solely by their ability to cast a quixotic stare. "People may think that what I do is easy. Well, no easier than rubbing vaseline on your teeth and walking onstage in a bathing suit and heels, that's for sure". [More!]
"Hillary had it almost right, but the title of her book should have been: It Takes a Village to Exploit a Child, observes "Rachel", the leader of America's latest Youth Revolution. Ever since her purchase of the popular children's television shows "Sesame Street" and "Teletubbies", children across America have been steeped in her revolutionary lexicon. "Viewership of "The Bloodhound Gang" on "3-2-1 Contact" has nearly doubled since we've had the kids sniffing out counter-revolutionaries instead of just solving mysteries." [More!]
"Being the sole provider of content on the internet can be a bit trying" sighs "Ceej", generally credited as the only person on the Web creating original work. While this fact has gone largely unnoticed for the last several years, the explosive growth of the Internet has strained even the fecund mind of this fountainhead. "I was keeping up for a while there, but the sheer number of porn sites was becoming overwhelming. There's only so many ways to say "breast", you know." [More!]

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