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"To catch the chicken, you must think like the chicken" advises Renée, outback survivalist and reclusive Web billionaire. Her world famous Internet Investing Book, "Buy At 3, Sell at 300, Look Like a Fool When The Stock Splits and Doubles The Next Day" made her a hit on the lecture circuit where she was famous for chiding her audiences on the irrelevance of profit, business plans, and experience. "The world I helped create will crash next year. If it wasn't for my angry teapot toessel, I'd never live through it. [More!]
Who wouldn't want to wake up to my voice in the morning? coos "Kimathea", a renowned performer in the burgeoning "home cabaret" industry. As a surging economy has produced ever more millionaires, many Americans feel a certain emptiness in their lives. "That's what home cabaret it all about" answers Kimathea. "When I wake you up with 'I've Got the World on a String' and put you to sleep with 'Thanks For the Memories', you'll really feel the difference." [More!]
"Inside all of us skinny people is a fat woman screaming to get out", advises controversial author and distinguished chef "Dana", host of the popular 'Fat Lady Cooks The Classics" series on PBS. Dana, who is not herself yet fat, says she aspires to corpulence to lend even more credibility to her ripening food empire. "In my business, fat means credibility. I figured the Muffin Toessel was a good place to start". [More!]
"I told Yossel I bang my head against the wall a lot, and he came up with the phat, jokes "Hilari", freelance spinmaster. Employed by politicians, celebrities, and businesses, Hilari is famous for being able to cast even the most negative story in a positive light. "I can't mention his name, but you'll remember a story in the papers a couple of months ago about a famous actor who rescued a woman in distress in the wrong part of town. My job is to make sure that you never found out he was in the bad part of town looking to score some crack cocaine and buy illegal weapons. Hey, it's a living." [More!]

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