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How To Get a Toessel

Upon first seeing a toessel, the reaction of many people is "I want one!". Not "What must I do to get one?", but rather a demand of immediate desire; of greed, even. This from people who will never wear it, but just want a toessel anyway. Not unlike the prodigal slaughter of the American Buffalo is the insatiable desire of some to simply own a toessel -- for no other reason than to say they do. Nothing, I assure my dear readers, disturbs me more.

So this, then, would be the proper time to bring up how one does go about acquiring (or simply applying to acquire) a toessel. While there are no hard and fast rules, there are some general guidelines of which you should be aware if you indeed wish to have "sex on your head".

  • Celebrities, provided they pose for odd pictures, will get toessels for free.
  • People who have spent the night with Yossel sometimes get toessels for free.
  • People who share immediate genetic traits with Yossel usually get more toessels than they need.
  • Yossel is always happy to barter for a toessel. Art objects are considered best.

So, assuming that Yossel has never seen you or been seen by you naked, your best bet at getting a toessel is going to be to trade for one. Why trade? The materials in a toessel can cost anywhere between 5 and 30 dollars. That is without the award-winning, painstaking hand crafting that goes into every Yossel creation. If they were to be priced, they would cost a minimum of 75 dollars to make it worthwhile. It would be a shame to see cost prove a barrier to a warm head, so bartering is a way to unload the toessels without having to put a prohibitive price on them. If you feel that you have something worth trading ....

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