"You have to meet people where they are if you want their souls. That was my mistake in my last major religious upsurgence. Three years ago, I realized, after a particularly heavy brekfast of oat muffins, that I was the true Dalai Lama. Boy, was that a failure. The 'Free Tibet' bumper stickers I made up were a big hit, but when they caught me on tape saying 'What sort of fool would ever shave his head?', I think that was kind of the end. That's actually what drew me to Yossel's creations in the first place. Thinking about hair, and head coverings, I awoke one morning to realize that I was really meant to assume to role of Pope . I had been told in a dream that John Paul II had led the people astray with his use of ostentatious headgear. Giddy wanted me to bring the world's Catholics back into the fold with a simpler hat, one of which we could all partake. A hat, I may add, not unlike one that Jesus may have worn. I feel good this time. I think I'm really going to connect with people now."

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