DISCLAIMER - Of course, none of this was done on company time. And, of course, Jos loves his previewers. Just some days he gets frustrated. Instead of taking it out on them or his fellow green team members, he takes it out on a fictional web site. Okay, the web site is real, but the letter is fictional.

Dear Previewer - AppleU- Thanks for your recent email! How nice to hear from you again. Have you considered getting a pet? I see that you finally got off your lazy butt and hooked up your box. I would have gotten back to you sooner, but it's been hectic here. I like watching you squirm. I'm finding it easier and easier to ignore your email. I've been too busy tracking all the porn sites you visit. I'm looking at the problem that you described in your email. Please clarify one thing for me: when is this problem happening? are brains illegal out where you live? Did you think about your email for any longer than two seconds before you wrote it? how, exactly, did you ever get out of the womb? However, because we have gone through two upgrades since you wrote in, you may want to see if this is still happening. this email is about a feature that Usability got rid of. you need to test this again, so I can ignore that email as well. you have been replaced by a trained chimpanzee. I particularly liked your feature request. I will pass it along. Would you like the box to make omlettes as well? If you ask for this again, I'm putting your account on "Kid-safe". Now I'll make EXTRA SURE that we never support it. Thanks again for the excellent refreshingly brief mind-numbing baffling email. It actually made me think. stupider. hungry. glad that we can soon kick you out of the Preview.

Respectfully,

Jos
Previews Team
WebTV