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"Gimme Gimme Gimme Gimme Gimme Gimme Gimme Gimme Gimme"

You Deserve free stuff!

So here you are. You've read the article about how to get your own toessel, but you're not a celebrity and have no appreciable talent to make something to barter.

Now's your chance. Toessel is looking for a new slogan. "It's Like Sex on Your Head" has served us well, but it's getting time to move on. Time was, punching "sex and head" into the Yahoo search engine would pull this site up second, but now I'm topped by all sorts of sites offering things I really shouldn't describe.

Starting today, December 6th, I'm kicking off the Toessel Slogan Promotion. Send your slogan entries to The contest will continue until it's no longer funny, at which point a winner will be declared. This winner will be entitled to her choice of toessel, which will be lovingly crafted and mailed to the winner free of charge. On the off chance that the winner proves to be a 6 foot tall woman sporting long straight brown hair with blonde highlights, a Swedish oil massage will be thrown in with my compliments.

In an effort to get things underway, the Toessel Research Staff has come up with some prospective slogans. Here are two, just to get you started.

  • "This ain't your Grandma's knitting."
  • "More than a hat, less than a revolution."
You don't like those? Well quit your high-minded insolence and enter the contest already. I promise to only make fun of those that really suck. ;)

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