Listen and ye shall learn. A Natural man, an Improved man, and a sack of dirt walk on a path to a distant village. It begins to rain. The sack of dirt is not waterproof, it grows wet and heavy and is unable to continue with the journey. The Natural man is waterproof, but because he does not want to get wet runs under a tree and cannot continue the journey. The Improved man opens his umbrella and continues walking.

Several days later, when the three have once again joined paths, the sun begins to shine hotter and brighter until soon it is as hot and bright as any of them have ever seen. The sack of dirt soon begins to dry out; the canvas sack becomes stiff and brittle; it cannot continue the journey. The Natural man squints and sweats, but his eyes tire because of the hot sun, and he cannot continue the journey either. It is only the Improved man, with his mirrored sunglasses, who walks into the sun without fear.

On the last day of their journey, the three travelers meet up at a discotheque just outside the town. The bouncers are very concerned with the appearance and hairstyle of their patrons. The sack of dirt, because he has no hair at all, is not allowed passage. The Natural man has a full head of hair, but it is the wrong style. Only the Improved man, with his Rogaine Toessel was ensured to be in the right style. And he, my friends, with the foresight to realize that it's what's on the outside that counts, was allowed into the disco.

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