It's all about introducing market efficiencies. Woman in Cleveland gives birth to a baby with a dimpled chin. She hates the dimpled chin. Woman halfway across the country gives birth to a baby with a flat chin; she wants a dimpled one. Ten, five, even three years ago, there would be nothing that these women could do to help each other. Now, thanks to the wonders of the Internet and firms such as mine, these women can be brought together to negotiate a trade.

That's right, negotiate. You rarely see a straight baby-for-baby swap anymore, and why should you? Some babies really are better, and their parents should be justly compensated. I remember a trade last week. Little Sally in San Diego for little Francisca in Fremont. Both cute as little buttons. Well, that's not true really. Sally had this real tiny head and stubby legs, so her father was ready to unload her quick. Francisca's parents already had five kids, and they didn't really need anymore.

This is where my skills really come into play. Harnessing the power of the Web, I was able to put together a deal for Sally, a Pioneer car stereo, and a very handsome love seat sofa in exchange for Francisca. Since it was all being done online, it was wrapped up in a matter of minutes, and just in time for the mothers to come out of sedation. It's moments like that that make it all worthwhile.

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